just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The ass gains better be worth it
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