Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
