so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
