last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize