so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize