I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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