i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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