We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
