No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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