Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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