I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
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I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
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That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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