First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
