i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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