its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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