drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
