I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
