The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
