That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize