some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
