He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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