You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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