Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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