I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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