another moral hangover. fuck.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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