they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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