Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
