So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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