Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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