Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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