week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
