your thong is hanging out like whoa
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
