Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My balls are so social today.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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