Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
