You just made me feel so damn special
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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