Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
