How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
