Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
