i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
