I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize