You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
