well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
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She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
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i think i just lost a toe
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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