i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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