That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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