Dual....:-)
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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