hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
soo... how was my night?
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