I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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