I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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