its not stalking. its research.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
