I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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