can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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