haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
