I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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