Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
