just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
