Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
