She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
