why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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