How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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