did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
