This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
